|WORD SPLURGE: The Need to be RIGHT!|


Note: word splurge – instant posts drafted & scrambled together with incoherent words

Ohhhh, I am itching to word splurge this morning! The end of the weekday awaits, and the weekend is just around the corner! As I’m typing, I am chomping on my cereal with a strong urge to voice my opinion on the need to be right. 

A couple months ago, I’d fallen into a heated discussion with an old friend. He had refused to accept and end our debate on ‘agree to disagree’ terms; his reply to my preposition was due to his “want to be right!”

There has been several instances where people (myself included) have become irretrievably blind to the situation at hand because of the need to be right. Imagine yourself in the heat of a situation – whether it be an argument with your partner or family member, or a discussion-leading-on-debate with friends and colleagues. Within that moment, you somehow become closed off from the initial topic of discussion. In turn,  you mentally shield yourself with ‘I NEED TO WIN! I NEED TO BE RIGHT!’ to protect your fragile ego.

During this moment, you become blind to the initial topic of discussion in order to ‘win’, or in your defence, to prove your point.

But why?

Why is it that we crave to be correct? Is it because it inflates our ego and affirms our sense of self-worth, or is it a defence mechanism we’ve developed to protect our own values from opposing and intrusive topics?

It’s frustrating, from both ends of the spectrum as we can become remarkably stubborn  and closed minded in order to prove our point. Whether it be a defence mechanism, or a means of feeding our ego; if either individual refuse to accept the opposing opinion, the conversation inevitably becomes pointless.

So here’s a question I’d like to propose:
If you’re have a pointless conversation, why should you continue to prove your point?

Stop wasting your time and agree to disagree!
Stop trying to be your version of ‘right’!



EGOEgo: A person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance

Note: word splurge – instant posts drafted & scrambled together with incoherent words

While I’ve understood the concept of varying ego sizes from person to person, I’ve only recently been made aware that ego comes in various forms depending on the situation that you place yourself in.

For instance, while you may not have a huge ego when it comes to everyday situations in your present life, there may be a particular aspect that you may take pride in (maybe even too much pride in?!)

Let’s say for example, a dentist: She’s extremely humble when it comes to her well-paid job. Despite her clients gifting her flowers and words of gratitude almost everyday, her ego remains modest and accepts the compliments from others. However, when it comes to her weekly badminton classes, her ego may become inflated to the point where she becomes slightly too egotistical and smug in relation to her talents.

While I don’t consider myself to have an inflated ego, I have come to realise that in some aspects of my life, I become extremely defensive when something or someone challenges certain beliefs of mine.

Ego comes in varying forms, and it’s come to light that I hate it when my status becomes challenged or compromised in the eye of another. In relation to it all, when a close friend of mine darted the ‘you have a huge ego yourself!‘ comment, I’d abruptly defended myself by shouting and denying! ‘What?! No! How?!

It has been a few weeks since the initial debate, and I hate to admit it, but it’s true. I do have a huge ego under certain circumstances. When this is combined with my already acknowledged stubborn mindset, I am quick to defend myself in hopes to protect the fragility of that good ol’Ego of mine!

A horrible trait, yes. I know. However, this doesn’t mean it can’t be changed in the near future!

So have a think about it; do you have an inflated ego under certain circumstances in your life? Maybe you take pride in your work, or a hobby of yours?
Food for thought. Think about it.

|’It is what it is’|

Look forwardSuch is life

During my final year at University of Brighton, I’d become acquainted with a sweet girl who lived by the saying ‘Such is life’. Despite having this ingrained into my mind throughout the course of my final year, I have never truly grasped onto the concept of it.

In the past year (post-graduation), I’ve come to realise that despite trying your hardest to accomplish, achieve and attain… sometimes, it’s just not possible.

There are plenty of things in life that don’t go to plan. Say for instance, your usual drive to work or school ended up taking twice or even three times its usual duration because of a car accident or maintenance work. Or maybe you booked an appointment to see your dentist but it had been cancelled last minute because the doctor was ill. Many every day occurrences are out of our grasp.

Unless you live in a glass bottle,
it’s just not possible to control every single aspect of your life.

Although I continue to face an ongoing battle with struggling to achieve certain goals or tasks due to uncontrollable variables, I have since come to terms with the idea that things don’t always go to plan… and that’s okay!

It’s important to remember that despite being unable to control outside factors, what we (ourselves) can control is our state of mind and how we react to such problems in our life. In other words, it is what it is. ‘Such is life‘. Rather than become wholly consumed by things ‘going wrong’ in your life, you can either complain and focus on the negative, or, you can choose to accept it for what it is, take a deep breath and move on.

In other words, new problems are always going to pop up in life. If you’re living a life with no problems, you’re either living in a glass bottle, or you’re not progressing enough in life to face any new problems at hand. So next time you become frustrated with something that doesn’t align with how you want it to be, accept that it has happened and keep on going!

Don’t be afraid to welcome new problems in your life; it’s what makes living interesting!
 Just keep going, you’re doing great!

|Progression & Goals|

boiling frog sketch

I refuse to be a frog in a boiling pot!

Note: You can read about ‘The Boiled Frog Syndrome’ here.

As expressed in a previous post, my progression with this blog has been stagnating. I know, I know, a post should come natural to the writer – I mean, I can write and post as much as I want, but if it has no direction or meaning to it, it becomes pointless. But I want to make a habit of updating my blog at least once a week… it’s not even too much to ask for! It’s just me being plain lazy.

So here’s a list of my goals that I intend will achieve by the beginning of next year:



Note: considering how I’ve already cleared all of my 1RM goals, these are more of a guideline/optimistic goal-setter for myself

  • 90kg squat
  • 120kg deadlift
  • 60kg decline bench
  • 50kg flat bench
  • 40kg overhead press
  • Be able to do a proper one handed press up
  • Be able to do a proper hand stand push up
  • Clear 5 REAL chin ups
  • Be able to hold a head stand
  • Be able to do a wall split
  • Hit a goal of 17-18% body fat percentage


Note: my progression list for self development is a bit too personal to be uploaded onto social media

  • Learn French. Seriously learn it!
  • Read more! Read a variety! (linking to blog hop)
  • Get my freelance design ‘career’ up and running (or at least begin to post things to gain traction)
  • Draw more: have something new in my moleskine each week


boiling frog

Don’t forget to take a leap!

|The Boiled Frog Syndrome|



For those of you who are unaware of The Boiled Frog Syndrome, the name and meaning derives from the particular way in which frogs are cooked.

If you put a frog in already hot water, it would promptly jump out.


If you put a frog in water and allow it to slowly heat up, the frog becomes unaware of its circumstances and falls into a drowsy state. Instead of jumping out of the increasingly hot water, the frog slowly boils to death.

In relation to humans and life problems – the frog being the person and life being the water, if life problems suddenly crash on you (i.e. the water becomes too hot too quickly), you are instantly made aware of it and an immediate reaction would be signalled (i.e. jumping out of the hot water).


Sometimes life problems can gradually creep up on you without any realisation or acknowledgement. The problem slowly gets worse and worse (i.e the water becomes hotter and hotter) and soon you become so worn out by the problem that you are unable to do anything about the situation… and before you know it? You’re dead.

Whether it’s family dilemmas, relationship issues, work pressures or health problems. These examples can all be applied to a Boiling Frog Syndrome situation.

Just know, it’s never too late. 
(well, unless you’re dead… but you wouldn’t be able to read this now, would you?!)
Once you realise that you’re a frog in boiling water, it’s your decision as to whether or not you choose to jump out and save yourself or sit in the pool of mess that’s slowly killing you.

It’s your choice. All you need to do is wake up and become aware of your own frog in boiling water situation.




Let’s start things afresh.

Hi, I’m Huewinn! I’m a proud alumna of University of Brighton, with a pretentious portfolio and a 2:1 degree in interior architecture.

Like many graduates in the 21st century, I have found myself squandering around looking for ‘the perfect job‘. With my luck, I’ve made little to no progress in climbing up the career ladder towards my aspirations. Now, plenty of people within my life tell me to ‘carry on going!’ or ‘try another route!’ and even ‘it’ll come to you when you least expect it!’. Here’s the thing: I have been carrying on! I have been trying! I have been patient, optimistic and taking it as it is! I have! I have! I have! But do you know what?

It’s devastating. 

It’s torture having to go against who I am by changing my name to ‘Hannah Chan‘ on my CV, and it hurts me even more to see that I receive more replies (both rejections and interviews) with this stage name in relation to my birth name. Honestly? It felt as if I was stripped away from my identity, and thrown into a pool of manufactured dolls waiting to be picked up and played with.

Let’s not even begin talking about my pretentious CV and to-laugh at portfolio. What’s this? I’m at an interview and they want to see examples of work produced for companies? Well of course I don’t have more than ten to show! Also, between you and I? Half of them are made up companies! They’re Fillers! Tricksters! Frauds! They’re pathetic (albeit, fun to design) examples to fill my portfolio for potential clients and interviewers to see.

Let’s take this for example:


Did I enjoy making a lame company name and slogan? Of course I did! Was I actually commissioned by someone? Of course not! This example, like many others within my portfolio, is a depiction of how I have degraded myself and betrayed my values to fit society’s requirements towards being hired within the design industry. I’m sick of it. 

In the most snail-paced manner,  it’s been almost a year since I’ve actively started searching for a design-related career, and I have made outstanding progress towards anything but my aspirations! The closest I’ve come towards nailing a design-related job has been my unexpected internship post-graduation. From there onwards? It’s been a series of stumbles and falls, dropping me further and further away from what I’d expected of myself.

It’s been a long and tiresome battle. 

Although I’ve made practically no progression towards my desired career path, I’m happy to say that I’ve learned a lot. I’ve come to recognise and welcome my fears in the most roundabout way possible, and despite being in conflict with it many a time, I’m gradually coming to terms with it. For now? Let’s just say that I’m taking a step back and appreciating life for what it is.

So, this is me. 


This is my ‘fuck it’ blog towards life and happiness. 
This time, I’m going to do things my way whereby I get to decide what content I produce and post. It’s not going to be a ‘please hire me!’ website, nor is it going to be a ‘look at how great/bad I am at design!’. It’s been decided. I’m going to do what I want to do and design what I want to design. If people don’t like it? So be it!

This is my website, with my real name.
Hi, I’m Huewinn.