| Getting Back Together With Your Mojo |

Oh no! My Mojo!

Maybe you’ve just been out of touch for a while because you’ve been busy with other commitments, or maybe you’re in a rut and feel have lost your talents. Either way, we’ve all been there (heck, I’m in it right now!). We’ve all lost our mojo, and we’ve all been lost for words when something that once came so naturally to ourselves seemed to be alien now.

So how do you get back with your mojo?

A little while ago, I talked about my intentions of getting back into the design world via freelancing. I spoke about being rusty and out of the game! I even felt inadequate and useless! Rusty, yes. Useless? No. The thing is, with any skill, whether new or old, all it takes is practice. You don’t just ‘forget’ how to do something, right? For the most of us, our skills are filed away in our memories, and we only need a little kick in the memory brain to remember how we used to do it! Remember the saying: ‘it’s like riding a bicycle!’ ? It’s true. Once learned, it can’t be forgotten.

So whenever I’d noticed myself losing touch of my creative mojo, I’d follow these four steps (below) to help guide me back into the zone. Whether you have a creative stump or stuck in any other rut, I urge you to read on:
(it helps, trust me!)



|Life is all about Progression|

big ideas headerIt’s time I come clean.

I’ve had these plans with me for a few months now, and I’d always been too scared to communicate these particular thoughts and feelings into a blog post. For the most part, I’ve been very honest with regards to my opinions on different matters; however, in this case, it’s proven to be difficult for me to open up.

For the past few weeks, I’d been hammering into my mind that if I were to open up to my sea of incognito followers, then all of my incessant worries would disappear and everything would seem to fall into place. So, here I go.

Now.. where do I begin?

The Initial Inclination
A few months ago, I became vocal about wanting more to my life. I talked about quitting my job come February, and I talked about not truly knowing where my life would be heading towards.

(Note: post can be read here |Dream… BIGGER!|)

While I wasn’t intentionally lying about not knowing where my life was headed, I wasn’t completely honest. Come February, I’ll be leaving my current job at the GP Surgery to travel across South East Asia. Now, I know you may all be thinking that I’ve become the typical backpack traveller with the mindset of ‘discovering yourself’. Although it is true to a certain degree, I oppose of this statement for the fact that I have no intentions of coming back to the UK unless I fail and run out of money. In other words, I have a one-way ticket to South-East Asia, and an insistent mindset that my plans and aspirations will follow through in time.

For the past year, I have been saving up and scraping all of the spare change that I have in order to build a lump sum of money that will help me to live on the other side of the world for 1-2 years. During this period, I will be travelling slowly across different countries of interest while making attempts to build a sustainable living. I have my mind set on this, and I’m going to give it my all. I know that there is more to me than settling for a mediocre job that doesn’t fulfil my underlying interest and devotion to creative design and personal development.

So what about WordPress?
While some of you may be rolling your eyes and assume that I’ll be turning this blog of mine into a general travel blog, I want to cut you off short… now!

Although I can’t say for the certain that this site will not transform into a travel blog in the future, I want to state that my current intention is to motivate and support people who are or will be in the same position as I was:

Graduated into a sea of uncertainty and living in an unhappy life
knowing that there must be more to this!

Social media applications such as Facebook, Youtube, Instagram and even LinkedIn are fuelled by individuals choosing what they want to publicise. In other words, you only see said person in a certain light. Most of the time, they portray themselves in a positive and discreetly bragging manner. What I want to show to you all, is that life really isn’t all that great sometimes. I want to expose the nitty gritty negative emotions that we have all been through but have been all too insecure to speak up about.

Within the next few months, I’ll be steering this site towards helping others who are in the same position as me – ‘lost at sea’. More specifically, to every post-graduate not knowing what their next steps in life are.

You’re never as alone as you think. 

Opposing Opinions
I know that there are some sceptics out there who are inclined to believe that I have short-lived goals and aspirations… and that’s okay! It’s okay to have opposing opinions, and it’s okay to judge my decision negatively. However, I know what I’m certain of, and I know that I am in charge of steering my life in the direction I want it to.

While I respect your assessment of me, I hope you’ll respect my decision.

For the Future
This is my chance to steer my future into the way I want it to head towards. Although all may change when I am abroad and living in a country far away from home, I have an optimistic heart and a determined mindset to achieve while enjoying the journey!

big ideas

Life is what you make of it, right?
This is where I am at now, and over there is where I plan to be. I hope this post has inspired you one way or another to take the leap and head towards what you truly want in life.
At the end of the day, if you don’t try you’ll never know!

I’m interest in knowing what your aspirations are! 
Anonymous or not, let me know and let me share some of my own enthusiasm and assurance that it can be possible! 


|Procrastination: the ONLY reason we do it|

sea of procrastination
I’m procrastinating as I type!

Read my related post here: |Logo Design: Getting out of a creative stump|

Ah, procrastination. I do it, you do it, we all do it! Heck, I’m procrastinating at this current moment! Throughout the years of becoming aware of my procrastinating phases and the reasons why we all do it, I’d recently felt the urge to delve further into the the ‘why’ of postponing tasks. In doing so, I’ve categorised all of the excuses reasons we all use to justify why we do it into one fundamental explanation.

We procrastinate because of the need to avoid pain.

Tch. Pain, yeah right?!
Now you may think that my explanation is pointless and pathetic. I mean, what kind of background or qualification do I have to justify my answer?! I’m just a post-graduate living working in a GP surgery! Listen to me, if I’ve learned anything from my past year as a post-graduate, it’s that qualifications are only justifications to society to show that you are ‘eligible’ do or say something. You don’t need any qualifications to justify your own opinions and perceptions!

So what do I mean about pain?
At the end of the day, we choose to seek pleasure and happiness in our lives, meaning that we always choose to avoid painful/unlikable tasks and situations. Whether it be an unpleasant task (be it hard or boring), or because we find more pleasure in doing something else (for instance, eating food or mindlessly watching youtube videos), either way we put off doing the important task at hand because we want to seek more fun and pleasantries in life.

For instance, if I know I have a personal deadline I need to meet (e.g. writing at least one post a week) but I also know that ASOS is doing a 20% off everything sale, I’m going to choose the latter.

I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy splurging my thoughts and ideas on here, no! Definitely not! However, I know I gain instant gratification when I click on the sale section of ASOS and mindlessly scroll through unnecessary items of clothing and accessories that I will most likely return. I find more pleasure faster from online shopping (i.e. procrastinating) rather than tackling the problem at hand.

But I enjoy doing -insert task here- why is it that I still procrastinate?!
It takes time to get the ball rolling, right? You may enjoy doing a certain task, likewise I enjoy writing each of my posts or sketching in my journal, however, (no matter how little) it takes effort. Specifically to a comfort-seeking person like myself, having to place any sort of effort creates some sort of pain in my life at that given moment.

With regards to the reason why certain people are less inclined to procrastinate, some people are more willing to leave their comfort zone than others because they find excitement and satisfaction when confronted with challenges. In other words, when a situation arises there are two kinds of people, they will either step up to it, or avoid it at all cost. For me, the reason why I rise up to a challenge is because I know that the faster I finish the task, the earlier I can return to my comfort zone of doing easier and more pleasurable activities (i.e. eating till my heart is content).

At the end of the day, we weigh out the pros and cons in any given situation – whether we do this consciously or subconsciously, we all do it. We are constantly asking and answering our own internal questions.
I’m hungry, what should I eat?
I need the toilet, do I really want to leave my warm bed?
Oh man, this guy’s an idiot! Should I say something about it?!

The answer that we choose is based on what will gain us more pleasure.
Let’s take the toilet/warm bed situation.
Many a time, I lay in bed during the cold winter nights reluctant to leave my comfort space despite needing the toilet. As my need to use the restroom increases (i.e. the movement towards pain and discomfort) and pleasure I receive from staying warm and comfortable in bed reduces, I will have an increasing urge to go to the toilet and get it over and done with. In other words, the faster I get this task finished, the faster I can return to my pleasurable state.

We’re funny little creatures on this earth, aren’t we?!
We run away from pain and seek pleasure… and sometimes seeking the wrong type of pleasure to resist falling into a painful state again.

final sea of procrastination

I hope this posts has brought a new light into the reason why you and I and everyone around us procrastinate! The next time you see yourself doing it, take a step back and realise the reason why you’re postponing your action or task!

You can read my related post here: |Logo Design: Getting out of a creative stump|


|Putting the ‘FREE’ in freelance!|

tis the season header‘Tis the season to be married!

For the latter part of November, I’d offered to make my colleague’s wedding invitations free of charge. During a casual chitchat with her, she’d raised her concerns in relation to the RSVP invitations.  In short, the small batch of her original wedding invitations were quite costly, and it wasn’t within her budget to request for an extra 60+ invites for the same price. To sum up her concerns, given the budget, design preference and time frame, she had placed a few obstacles in front of her. I saw the bothered-look on her face, and thought to myself: ‘I have a design background… so why not!?

I have plans heading towards freelance design after I quit my current employment (you can read more here) so why not brush the dust and remove the rust now!? I wanted to help my colleague and ease her of this stress… I mean, I might as well take this opportunity to refresh my digital skills! While she’d offered to pay me for my services, I’d declined and called it a wedding gift.

It felt easy right at the beginning – getting out my ol’pencil and sketching out designs on a scrap piece of paper… and then it plummeted.
Kapoot. Design block. Again.
I was frustrated and agitated! How could I have been so out of sync?! Ah… but I was. Throughout university, it was second nature for me to use Adobe. Since graduating? I’d slowly but surely stopped digital design altogether.  I really was rusty! So where do we go from here!?

Considering that I’ve worked with this colleague of mine for the past year, I’d like to think that I know her fairly well. Likewise, I know her style and preferences. So it’s easy… design an invitation that would appeal to her. The thing is, I sucked. I know I sucked! I wanted everything to look a certain way to meet her fancy, but it had also meant going against my own style and preferences! My own opinions were clashing with the main opinion – my colleague’s! My ‘client’.

Samantha wedding invitations2

If I’d learned anything in the past year, it’d be that flexibility and openness is key. I threw away my ego, and I threw away my style. I did it the way she wanted it to look. In other words, I created an RSVP that followed the same style as the original wedding invitation. While it’s not my favourite design, I’m glad to have put a look of gratitude on her face when presenting the 60+ invitations to her.

At the end of the day, it’s not what I want, rather, what the person I’m designing for wants. It’s hard to get over this, especially when I’ve gotten it ingrained in my head that my idea is the ‘right’ idea… but that’s an ongoing adjustment of mine! Despite the small amount of stress brought upon by my temperamental-teenager printer, in the end it was all worth it.

Samantha wedding invitations

I mean, her fiancé had gifted me with a bunch of flowers as a thank you!

flowers from client

My freelance design career is still in its early days, but I need to start somewhere, right?! If anyone wishes to contact me for any job opportunities or general enquiries, feel free to contact me here!

|Post-Graduation: the gruelling reality|

Graduation PhotoOh how time flies!

My previous post dabbled on my feelings towards post-graduation. So? Let’s talk about post-graduation! With this being a sensitive subject, not many people are comfortable discussing the matter at hand – at least not on a large platform. For those of you who are recent-graduates seeking employment, or even novice-level contenders in The Game of Adulting, I urge you to read on!

It’s been just over a year since I’ve graduated and began actively looking for a design job. During this period last year, I was in turmoil from getting frustrated with the lack of experience I had in the design industry. In consequence, I have been unable to sustain a job in the creative field. For those who are in the same position that I was/continue to be in, just know that you’re not alone.

This past year has been a rollercoaster of emotions fuelled by lack of belief in myself. It’s disheartening to hear that thousands of post-graduates (myself included) have been unable to land a job role in something they’re truly passionate about. In the midst of countless cover letter drafts and CV applications, I’d managed to land myself a job at a GP surgery. While I knew that this wasn’t going to be a job that I saw a future in, I needed it at the time. Not for the money, no. I needed it for myself. I needed to get myself back up. I needed to get myself back out there. I needed to feel productive and I needed to feed my self-worth. Most of all, I needed to feel needed.

During my employment at the GP surgery, I’d set myself the goal of continuing to apply to design-based jobs during my hours outside of work. I had interviews here and there, but I’d never been successful in landing a sustainable creative role. As months flew by, I’d watched my classmates flutter away as they’d landed roles in our graduated degree, I began to doubt my talent. I began to doubt myself.


Huewinn Chan CV 2016 (prior to the name change)

My friends in the creative field questioned why I was still unable to make it in the design industry, and a handful of them had in fact offered an opportunity to work for the company they were employed in. My creative-fuel was at an all time low, yet I’d declined. Be it pride, lack of confidence, or not wanting to take advantage of a true friendship; I continued to leave each opportunity with a vague and uncertain reply.

I was constantly going back and forth with wondering what I’d wanted in my life in relation to career choices. I knew it was in design. Likewise, I knew that I didn’t want to go into the degree I’d graduated in. I didn’t want to be a generic spatial designer. I wanted something more conceptually based. I wanted to make! I wanted to draw! I wanted to be ‘creatively unique’.

But I wasn’t. At least I didn’t feel it, not anymore. Not after the countless ‘we regret to inform you’ emails and the ‘you’re not what we’re looking for’ replies.

I was at at my lowest when it had hit March (2017); it had been 6 months since I’d officially started to look for a job in design. Half a year, and the closest I’d been to being creative was doodling on scrap paper at work. Yet I continued to be inflexible with my career choice. I continued to relentlessly apply to design jobs that weren’t in my graduated field, and I continued to expect a different outcome from being atrociously inflexible and stubborn with my choices.


Throughout the past year, I’d been twisting and turning and contemplating the underlying reason why I’d been unsuccessful, and I’ve decided to settle on the following reason:

I never truly wanted it.

At least not enough. Like I said, I hated compromising my values. I’d grit my teeth whenever I’d introduced myself as Hannah, and that was as far as I would go. The bottom line is, if I really wanted it… if I really wanted to work for a design firm, I would have done whatever it took to get there.

But I didn’t, did I? I didn’t purge my existing values of being true to myself, and I didn’t sugarcoat my answers during loathsome Q&A interviews. Likewise, I didn’t change the layout of my CV despite receiving several feedback from others that the design had looked too architectural.

There were plenty of steps that I could have taken towards getting my foot in the door within the design industry. Heck, for one, I should have strictly applied to spatial design firms! But I didn’t.

I didn’t, and I’m glad that I didn’t! In February, I’ll be quitting my role as a GP receptionists and heading towards my own route of interest. Despite having no clear direction of the path that I’m heading towards, I’m excited and I’m eager! I’m taking control of my life bit by bit at a time, and I’m starting by opening up to you all about overcoming the fear unknown in the adult world.

No one really spends much time talking about the gruelling reality of post-graduation. Sure, there are articles here and there, and there are a few sporadic posts. However, it’s all quite hush-hush. At the end of the day, no one really enjoys talking about a fragile and ego-bruising topic.

So let me help you all out, follow me on my journey exploring life as a post-graduate taking unconventional adult routes. There’ll be ups and there’ll be downs in life, but hey, at least you’ll have someone to relate to at times of despair!

Whether you’re a new contender in the Adult World or have been playing this game for years, just know that you’re not the only one struggling to play the game. So why not go off the rails? Why not say ‘fuck you’ to the norms of society and follow what you truly want. What truly makes you feel fantastic.

So what do you want? I want to know.
Feel free to Contact me here!

|Dream… BIGGER!|

big ideas headerI’d like to believe that I’m an optimistic person.

In spite of accepting my place in society at this current moment and coming to terms with the ‘it is what it is’ concept, I know that there is more to my life than right now. To sum this up, I know that there is more to me than working at a GP practice.

This isn’t to say that I’m above working as a receptionist or in an admin role, but I know that it isn’t the job for me. Why? Why because my mind is too energetic and hyperactive to be stuck in a surgery! It is! It is!

Given the time that I’ve been working at the practice, I’m proud to admit that I’m pretty good at what I do; however,  I know that I’m not the right fit for this job role.

Let’s visualise a generic receptionist at any given GP surgery:
How do they look like? What’s their sex, age, size and height? What facial features do they carry with them? What’s the pace of their work role? How do they speak to you? Are they warm and welcoming? Or are they cold and authoritative?

Do you have this person in mind? Chances are, I’m not what you’d visualise.
Bluntly putting it, I’m not the right fit.

While I’m grateful having had this job for almost a year, I know that my time in this place is coming to an end. Although I have no clear sail towards which direction I’ll be heading towards, I know that staying in the same place is not the right thing for me. I’m too young to be anchored down! I want to explore! I want to grow! I want to see more and be more.

In saying this, I have recently handed in my notice of leave at my current job. 

I’m not one to quit easily and my mind is constantly steering towards dreaming BIG. I have an abundance of imagination and creative ideas, and I honestly feel trapped staying in the same place. I have received negative remarks and advice from a handful of people (close friends and family members included) who are adamant to believe that I am quitting as a form of avoidance. Likewise, there are a handful of people who have given their concerns regarding my wellbeing towards taking this leap. However, I want to put forth this statement:

Handing in my letter of resignation had me feeling liberated! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m filling myself back up with dreams and aspirations!

I have plans in mind that I intend will put in motion in the coming few months that concern this blog of mine. I’m dreaming big again, and I have surges of enthusiasm and ideas whenever I think about it.

I’m quitting to follow through with what I want to do.
I’m quitting because I’ve been struck with the ‘what have I got to lose’ mentality.
I’m quitting because if not now… then when? When I’m 40 and ‘lack the energy’?
I’m quitting, and I’m going to do this on my terms.
I’m quitting. 

big ideas

For those who have a constant niggling feeling of wanting more, I would like to spread some words of encouragement:

If you’re not happy with where you are at this current moment in time,
then why don’t you change something about it?
You can do it. You are strong! Take risks and live BIG! 

If anyone ever wishes to share their dreams, fears and ideas with me, feel free to contact me here. I’m hear to listen and encourage! Honestly.

|WORD SPLURGE: The Need to be RIGHT!|


Note: word splurge – instant posts drafted & scrambled together with incoherent words

Ohhhh, I am itching to word splurge this morning! The end of the weekday awaits, and the weekend is just around the corner! As I’m typing, I am chomping on my cereal with a strong urge to voice my opinion on the need to be right. 

A couple months ago, I’d fallen into a heated discussion with an old friend. He had refused to accept and end our debate on ‘agree to disagree’ terms; his reply to my preposition was due to his “want to be right!”

There has been several instances where people (myself included) have become irretrievably blind to the situation at hand because of the need to be right. Imagine yourself in the heat of a situation – whether it be an argument with your partner or family member, or a discussion-leading-on-debate with friends and colleagues. Within that moment, you somehow become closed off from the initial topic of discussion. In turn,  you mentally shield yourself with ‘I NEED TO WIN! I NEED TO BE RIGHT!’ to protect your fragile ego.

During this moment, you become blind to the initial topic of discussion in order to ‘win’, or in your defence, to prove your point.

But why?

Why is it that we crave to be correct? Is it because it inflates our ego and affirms our sense of self-worth, or is it a defence mechanism we’ve developed to protect our own values from opposing and intrusive topics?

It’s frustrating, from both ends of the spectrum as we can become remarkably stubborn  and closed minded in order to prove our point. Whether it be a defence mechanism, or a means of feeding our ego; if either individual refuse to accept the opposing opinion, the conversation inevitably becomes pointless.

So here’s a question I’d like to propose:
If you’re have a pointless conversation, why should you continue to prove your point?

Stop wasting your time and agree to disagree!
Stop trying to be your version of ‘right’!