I just want to help.
Note: word splurge – instant posts drafted & scrambled together with incoherent words
I’d intended on posting a different post this week, heck, I’d even had it drafted up and all! But no, that can be put on the back burner this week. Tonight, I’m going to talk about support. I’m going to write about support from both ends of the spectrum – both giving and receiving.
Most recently, I’ve been making trivial attempts to be supportive to a close friend of mine. However, like I stated, they were trivial attempts. How is it possible to help someone when they don’t want to be helped? How is it possible to show that you’re there for that person when they refuse you? You end up exhausting yourself trying to show your concern all the while, they test your limits with sarcastic words that cut.
You felt hopeless being unable to help them break out of their negative state of mind, and retaliate with a depleted ‘I’m only trying to help’ comment while making your way to door to show yourself out. Tonight, I felt like that. It’s a horrible feeling to have expressed your concern for someone you care for to only receive rejection. To sum it up, you feel useless.
But how about being on the receiving end of support? What about all of the times when you’d rejected support from others? Whether it was conscious or subconscious, we’ve all rejected support from others one way or another in our lives. Maybe you refused to tell your mother who continually pestered you with ‘what’s wrong, dear?’ questions, or maybe you declined the support from your co-worker who wanted to help you out with the swamp of work that was lumped onto you. For whatever the reason, you chose to reject the support given to you by others.
Support comes in many ways.
Sometimes you don’t want to hear the truth, or maybe sometimes you do! Sometimes you want to cut off all your problems and worries just for a moment, and so you seek support by spending some time indulging in your favourite activities with good company.
Oftentimes, you just want to wallow in self pity and weep words of despair to a trusting friend who will accept your quirks no matter what.
Other times? Other times you just need to support yourself. You close yourself up and get on with it. You keep it in, you keep it together.
So how about the times when you receive support but reject it? Why is it that we do this? Everyone deals with their problems in their own way, and sometimes we project our anger and frustration onto others who reach out to us. I guess what I’m saying here is that without even realising it, we’ve all ended up hurting others in the process of rejecting sincerity and support at least once in our lives. It hurts being on the receiving end of rejection when every form of support is perceived to be futile. Likewise, it can be a challenge to become aware of your actions when you’re caught up in your own blunder of despair and negativity.
In a roundabout way, what I want to get through to anyone who’s reading this is that the next time you reject any sort of support or assistance from anyone, consider how it feels to be on the receiving end of the rejection. Rather than a simple dismissal, have you ever considered explaining the reason why you don’t need their support, or rather expressing the type of support you’re seeking for. Maybe you’re not looking to speak to them about your problems, rather you’re looking for a distraction from it! Or maybe you just want to be alone for a while.
An explanation is softer than an ambiguous rejection.
So here’s a question that I’d like pose for my readers tonight; how can someone show their support when said person you’re trying to give it to is being uncooperative? Likewise, what kind of support do you need when you’re stuck in a negative state of mind?
Leave a comment below, or feel free to contact me here!