| Until Death Do Us Part |


A sincere topic about optimistic revival…

Throughout my teenage years till now (roughly 10 years – eek!) I have relentlessly attempted to keep every store-bought plant alive. Unfortunately for them, every single plant that enters my abode seem to fall to its demise not long after its arrival.

After years of holding onto an assortment of long-past-its-expiry plants, I unwillingly let go of these deceased pots and throw them into the garden for nature to take its course.


So, how did my obsessive hobby of unintended murder come to existence?

It started off with buying pathetic amount of seeds and furiously waiting for a stem to sprout from the soil. Unlucky for my optimistic heart, after months of watering and nothing so much as a speck of greenery appears, I cross my arms and whine like a little bitch. 


Following this came an already-sprouted pinnatisect plant. One by one, the leaves would spread from the stem – I was enthralled by the growth weeks after its adoption! This is it. This must be the plant that has come to stay! However, Optimistic 13 year old Huewinn never learned the value of consistent caring during her early youth. I soon flew to Hong Kong for over four weeks to visit family, and unsurprisingly, the soiled dried and the plant wilted. In the garden it goes!

At 15, I’d fallen into the idea of cultivating plants that require little care. In other words – cacti plants. The first one grew in a lopsided manner, and around about five months into its life span it had given in. Only recently have I decided to migrate the already-dead cactus to another location. In the garden it goes!

dead cactus.png

It’s actually atrocious how poor my plant history is!
They just keep dying on me!

Since the departure of the first cactus, I’ve made reckless attempts buying more plants in hope for at least one survivor. Thus, came along the family of three, which at the time seemed promising for my pitiful botanist career. Why? Why because a single flower had sprouted! One might even call it a triumph!


To my dismay, the flower wilted and followed the route of my previous plants
hours after its initial blossom. 



Fast forward to now. It’s 2017 and I’ve recently become enthralled by venus fly traps.

So, I’d spent my beautiful Sunday afternoon in the farmland of Wiltshire’s garden centre to pick my next victim.


I’ve come to the realisation that I had nurtured my cacti too much by frequently overflowing the plant with water. Hopefully with this Trap, it will meet a different fate! Seeing as Dionaea muscipula need a healthy amount of water, I don’t need to worry too much about over-nurturing it!

Once again, my optimistic heart believes it’s possible for me to keep it alive. I have plans for this Trap to enter 2018 happy and healthy! In the garden it goes! Wish me luck!

Any advice on keeping this lil’un alive?!




Do I have your attention?

Great! Now sit back, relax, and dedicate the next few minutes to reading a recent event in my life.

For the past few weeks, the inner corner of my left eye has been increasingly irritated. Despite working at a doctor’s surgery, I would do any means possible to avoid seeking medical advice and self-diagnose and treat myself using at-home remedies.

It’s simple, right? Do whatever you can to prevent further irritation, such as spending less time in front of electronic devices and more time resting your eyes! Unfortunately for me, every day life renders me to wear my air-sucking contacts for absurd hours while staring into a cheap company-owned monitor.


When push came to shove and the irritation increased, I swallowed my stubbornness and booked a last minute appointment to Specsavers to face the degrading letter-chart eye test.

Now as a child, I loved the optimetrists! It was always an intriguing experience wearing the obnoxious plastic frames where interchanging magnifying glass pieces would slide in front of each eye to determine how much magnification was needed in order to provide clear vision. As I grew up, the trip to the opticians quickly turned into a loathsome and degrading experience where I felt as if I was being judged by how poorly I performed during each eye examination.

So here’s how it goes:
Hit the lights.
It’s dark.
Nothing but a blurry black letter in text size 999 appears on the backlit board.
“Can you read the letter?” asks the Doctor.

I scoff and droop my head in embarrassment.
The silence clearly answers it all.
It was ‘R’.
(C’mon! All the letters look the same without my glasses!)
Queue the multiple shards of glass placed in front of my eyes.
One by one, these magnificent transparent pieces sharpen my vision.
Until everything becomes clear again!

The board changes its slide.
“Now, can you read the first line of letters for me?”

Roll onto the next day! After bracing myself and bombarding the Specsavers employee with my recent eye-related annoyances, she slowly backed away and sent me to a more experienced member of staff. To my luck, the original appointment had been altered and upgraded to an emergency EOS (enhanced optical services) session – savvy name, right?!

From being seated on the patient chair onwards, it was a series of interrogating questions and intrusive examinations to my eyes. All to which led to one clear answer:

My eyelashes are growing sporadically in unconventional areas
causing the hairs to scratch and irritate my eyeballs.

Annoying, right? But here’s what happened next; the optician revealed a pair of tweezers and proceeded to pluck the rebellious lashes growing towards the inner corner of my eye. All the while, I grit my teeth and internally cry for my loss. This misfortune was followed by the news that it’ll be an ongoing problem, and the next step will be to conduct laser hair removal surgery on the inner-parts of my eyelids…. which doesn’t sound appealing to any mildly-vain female!


Since the ‘minor surgery’, I’ve been advised by the doctor to wear more mascara, which will help to guide my lashes and to fan them away from scratching my eyeballs even further! It’s currently 10PM.  My face is sweaty and oily, but I’m reluctant to remove my mascara in fear of eyeball irritation and laser hair removal.  It just goes to show how something so small and innocent on your face can cause such dramatic effects on one of the most important features on your body!

So that’s it. That’s my story.

Once again, my eyesight proceeds to worsen and I will be in need of another pair of prescription glasses and a hole in my wallet.

I hate having poor eyesight. 


| ‘THIS IS ME’ |


Let’s start things afresh.

Hi, I’m Huewinn! I’m a proud alumna of University of Brighton, with a pretentious portfolio and a 2:1 degree in interior architecture.

Like many graduates in the 21st century, I have found myself squandering around looking for ‘the perfect job‘. With my luck, I’ve made little to no progress in climbing up the career ladder towards my aspirations. Now, plenty of people within my life tell me to ‘carry on going!’ or ‘try another route!’ and even ‘it’ll come to you when you least expect it!’. Here’s the thing: I have been carrying on! I have been trying! I have been patient, optimistic and taking it as it is! I have! I have! I have! But do you know what?

It’s devastating. 

It’s torture having to go against who I am by changing my name to ‘Hannah Chan‘ on my CV, and it hurts me even more to see that I receive more replies (both rejections and interviews) with this stage name in relation to my birth name. Honestly? It felt as if I was stripped away from my identity, and thrown into a pool of manufactured dolls waiting to be picked up and played with.

Let’s not even begin talking about my pretentious CV and to-laugh at portfolio. What’s this? I’m at an interview and they want to see examples of work produced for companies? Well of course I don’t have more than ten to show! Also, between you and I? Half of them are made up companies! They’re Fillers! Tricksters! Frauds! They’re pathetic (albeit, fun to design) examples to fill my portfolio for potential clients and interviewers to see.

Let’s take this for example:


Did I enjoy making a lame company name and slogan? Of course I did! Was I actually commissioned by someone? Of course not! This example, like many others within my portfolio, is a depiction of how I have degraded myself and betrayed my values to fit society’s requirements towards being hired within the design industry. I’m sick of it. 

In the most snail-paced manner,  it’s been almost a year since I’ve actively started searching for a design-related career, and I have made outstanding progress towards anything but my aspirations! The closest I’ve come towards nailing a design-related job has been my unexpected internship post-graduation. From there onwards? It’s been a series of stumbles and falls, dropping me further and further away from what I’d expected of myself.

It’s been a long and tiresome battle. 

Although I’ve made practically no progression towards my desired career path, I’m happy to say that I’ve learned a lot. I’ve come to recognise and welcome my fears in the most roundabout way possible, and despite being in conflict with it many a time, I’m gradually coming to terms with it. For now? Let’s just say that I’m taking a step back and appreciating life for what it is.

So, this is me. 


This is my ‘fuck it’ blog towards life and happiness. 
This time, I’m going to do things my way whereby I get to decide what content I produce and post. It’s not going to be a ‘please hire me!’ website, nor is it going to be a ‘look at how great/bad I am at design!’. It’s been decided. I’m going to do what I want to do and design what I want to design. If people don’t like it? So be it!

This is my website, with my real name.
Hi, I’m Huewinn.


| FAQ. |



Hue Winn Chan
No, ‘Winn’ is not my middle name
No, you may not call me ‘Hue’ 
No, it’s not pronounced as ‘Hway-win’

19/07/1994; XXII
I share the same birthday as my father
Unfortunately, I also share his nose

London, United Kingdom
Trust me, it’s pretty ratty where I live

Interior Architecture at University of Brighton
Attaining an Upper Second Class Honours in being a blunt and sarcastic comedian
A £27k degree in ‘LOOK AT ME, I CAN DESIGN!’

Marketing Co-ordinator, GP Receptionist & Administrator
Constantly questioned by patients as to why I’m so chipper 
Most definitely the most laid-back looking receptionist

A6 Black Moleskine, typically using black ink pens with water brush marks on top
Original, I know. 
(In all fairness, the Moleskine was at an irresistable offer!)

You can view my Sketch Journal here.
(updated every Wednesday)